Students adjust to college yet don’t forget home
By Rachel Godward, Former Staff Writer
October 10, 2007 | 7:46 p.m.
Whether students’ hometowns are five miles from campus or halfway across the country, they always remember where they grew up, where they spent long nights at friends’ houses and where they acquired all of the skills they need to succeed in this life-altering place called college.
Why is it so hard for some to pick up the phone and call Mom every once in a while to check in? Are students so enveloped in college life that they move on to the next chapter of life as if on autopilot? Freshmen here at OU have varying opinions on the topic.
College life dominates
Some students have gone home far fewer times than others generally because of the distance from home, available transportation or lack of sheer desire to spend time with family and old friends. Many freshmen, like Molly McDonnell, have adjusted to college fairly comfortably and have not felt the need to visit their hometowns aside from scheduled breaks.
“I haven't been home yet, mostly because I live really far away,” McDonnell said. “I also haven't gone home because most of my friends are at other colleges, so if I were to go home, then none of my friends would be there. I would have nobody to hang out with.”
A lot of students don’t wish to go home unless they are homesick or unhappy at college. Winter quarter is off to a fresh start, and, at this point, the majority of freshmen feel thoroughly adjusted to the ebb and flow of life at OU. Twelve weeks of college has changed a surprising number of student perspectives on going home. Many wonder why they feel so comfortable away at school.
“I really haven't been homesick at all,” freshman Bryn Keck said. “I mean, I miss my bed, my shower and my couch, and I would like to see my friends, but I'm happy with my life here. I've met lots of people here, and I think the fact that I'm nine hours away from home is the reason I'm not homesick. It’s just not an option because going home is not an option.”
Scott Tobin, also a freshman at OU, feels similarly on the issue of homesickness. “I actually have not been very homesick,” he said. “I miss my family, but not the area I lived in so much. While I lived there, I just stayed at home while I was not at school. Here in Athens, I am constantly busy, and there are more things to do than I can even possibly have time for.
Many parents and students have thought about issues associated with going home, including the slowing of freshmen’s adjustment to college life and the strengthening of attachment to the comfort of home in the past. Is it healthy to travel home often?
Keck feels that visiting family and friends at home is acceptable in moderation, but that getting into the habit of it can be detrimental. “I think that going home maybe one or two times per quarter as a freshman is OK,” she said. “I think students should wait until they have been at school for a few weeks and are adjusted to life in college before going home for the first time. I think students have to be careful that they don't rely on going home a lot. You have to give yourself some time to get used to the whole college thing and learn to deal with tough times on your own.”
Home sweet home
Freshman Nicole Detmer, however, believes that going home often is not a problem. College does not necessarily entail forgetting about the past and the important people that were a part of it. Visiting family and friends to keep strong ties with loved ones is very important to many college students. “I don’t really think it makes a difference [if you go home a lot],” Detmer said. “Granted, you may not get to go out and get wasted every weekend because you’re going home, but it should not have that much of an impact on your college life.”
Students go home for a variety of reasons: to see significant others, to bring back items left at home or sometimes just to please Mom and Dad. Detmer has traveled home five times since arriving at college, one major motivation being to spend time with her boyfriend. Tobin has visited his hometown twice, for several different reasons.
”The first time, I went home simply to gather some essentials and dress clothes that I had neglected to bring when I came onto campus,” Tobin said. “The second time, I stayed home overnight and got to talk to my brother for the first time in a few months. I also got to meet my new pet, a cockatiel named Homer.”
The positive and negative aspects of going home must be based upon the individual student’s case. In McDonnell’s opinion, there are valid arguments for both sides. “Pros: seeing my family, sleeping in my own bed, showering without wearing flip-flops and driving a car,” she said. “It must be nice not to walk everywhere in the rain. Cons: not being able to see my friends [at OU], being bored and feeling obligated to go to work.”
College is not just a school. It is a home. For many, college represents major life changes and growth. Traveling back home, to the prior chapter of life in a sense, can be a priority to some or a random act to others. Although students go about visiting home differently, it can be agreed upon that people never forget their hometown. College cannot replace home sweet home.