BLOG: Bobcat Abroad
The culture of love
By Heather Irish, Staff Writer
January 30, 2007 | 12:43 a.m.
This week, the Welsh celebrated their version of Valentine's Day, Santes Dwynwen Day.
It was Thursday, Jan. 25. My co-workers said it's pretty much celebrated the same way as the states. Although I heard that the UK tries to send anonymous love letters to their secret crushes and they don't send or give gifts to their family and friends.
As a single girl I really got excited about the secret admirer game, but nothing exciting happened to anyone in the office. A group of older women were sent daffodils (the Welsh national flower) during lunch. It was really sweet and it made their day.
Love and dating seems to be the same here, but with slight variations. The major thing I noticed is my “gaydar” is slightly askew. My “gaydar,” which I think is quite good in the states and helps me avoid that embarrassing situation, is a little confused here. Little quirks that girls tend to notice in the states no longer matter here.
For example, one of the interns met this total Irish hottie that three interns, myself included, thought was gay. However, when the guy found out about our theory, he laughed it off and asked the girl out. Last night, the same thing happened to me in reverse. I was at an after-hours PR event and met a BBC journalist. We got into a big discussion about American politics and afterwards we went our separate ways. We met up later, and he bought me a drink. After the good vibes and the go ahead from a couple of the interns, we all, including the journalist, went to another club.
That's when things started to backfire. He seemed more interested in the guys at the bar than me, and then one of the interns found out from his friend that he was gay.
However, I have met my share of straight men here. The biggest thing about them is how chivalrous they are. The romance is still alive and not only for Valentine's. I met a football player at a dance club and he was sweet and genuinely interested in me. This was a complete change from the American club scene. We swapped numbers and he sent me several texts throughout the week wishing me sweet dreams and wanting to know how my day went. It was a welcomed change from the sometimes cutthroat American dating system.
The third major thing I noticed about dating in the UK is that there is no conception of casual dating. If you are with a guy that night, even if you met him a couple hours ago, you are thought to be with him. So if that dance remix of your favorite song comes on and you dance your way to another guy, you'll be called a "slag." That happened a couple times to most of the interns here. I don't like that lack of freedom, but I very much appreciate the chivalry. You can't always get what you want. But a girl can dream. And in a place where fairy tales and princes lived once upon a time, chivalry sounds much better, even if I have to be called a slag every once in awhile.