The Campus Sports Guy
You were always on my mind
By Corey Ryan, Sports Editor
July 18, 2007 | 7:45 a.m.
I have had enough 40+ hour work weeks. I'm sick of this office and I'm sick of living at home. Good thing I'm back in Athens this Friday.
All of this got me thinking. We are all on the verge of a new school year, which means lectures, papers, quizzes and exams to those pessimists out there, but do you know what I have on my mind right now?
Football.
So, in the tradition of me slacking off in the office, refusing to do real work, I have come up with the top 100 things I am looking forward to this season.
100. Frank Solich's floppy hat. I have made the suggestion that we should market this thing like Tressel's sweater-vest, but no one listens to me.
99. Crappy MAC football! It can't get any worse than last year.
98. Monday Night Football.
97. Romeo Crennel in his Browns snow suit.
96. The possibility of sweeping a Cowher-less Pittsburgh.
95. After the Browns beat the Steelers, I wipe my ass with Lloyd's "Terrible Towel."
94. Not having to go to every Solich Monday afternoon press conference. Seriously, he says the same things every week. It's like he's a cyborg or something.
93. Refusing to go to the first home game against Gardner-Webb because a) I can't understand why a MAC school would play a Division 1-AA school when any big time school will play us, pay us and give us a chance to win a big game on national television and b) I'm hosting a shin-dig at my place to break in the new house. I know this great sand guy and we're thinking of going wall-to-wall sand.
92. Drink-O! A drinking game we invented based on the Price is Right game Plink-O. We play during football games.
91. Empty Peden Stadium.
90. Wondering if McDavis and Crennel are brothers. Seriously, they kind of look alike. Am I crazy?
89. Sunday afternoon hangovers cured by watching football.
88. Fantasy football.
87. Ohio State versus Youngstown State game. What a barn burner!
86. Listening to the Ohio University marching band calling themselves the best. I love the Bobcats, but OSU's band is just better. It's bigger and better and more famous.
85. The guy who has to sit in the elevator at Peden Stadium during games to push the button.
84. Wyoming football comes to town! I can't believe AD Hocutt really thinks this is an elite home game. The stands will be emptier than a university prohibition rally.
83. Halftime keg stands.
82. Chris Berman.
81. John Madden.
80. Thursday night games on ESPN. I'll miss Herbstreit, but this is always one of the games I watch.
79. Ohio State versus Kent State. Another real barn burner, except this is in the middle of the season. Could they have made an easier schedule? It's like they want to be Notre Dame.
78. Chris Garrett interviews.
77. Ted Ginn Jr. punt returns. I love him, but I don't know why the Dolphins drafted him so high.
76 - 52. Notre Dame fans trying to tell everyone that they are this great football team because they have eight wins. A team full of Rudys could win six games with their schedule. Enjoy Charlie Weis' love handles and a trip to the Independence Bowl Irish fans!
51. Roger Goodell suspending the entire Bengals team for a river boat party. This will happen and it wil be all over YouTube.
50. Picturing Michael Vick in court, next to a picture of him at a dog fight with a cigar and a handful of Benjamins, telling on all of his pals to save his own neck.
49. The Gameday play list I concocted to listen to before Ohio State games.
48. The Bobcats taking on Virginia Tech with no one watching because they won't broadcast it on local TV.
47. The inevitable blowout win against Temple where Solich will play it off as a key victory in a seven win season.
46. Brad Bower running for his life for the first three games before getting injured and or benched for Theo Scott.
45. Watching Bobcat football players get all pissed off at people wearing Ohio State stuff on campus. Matt Miller almost got in a fight with my friend Kyle at The Junction last year because he was wearing an Ohio State t-shirt.
44. Larry Fitzgerald's brother is on our football team?
43. Anthony Gonzalez winning Offensive Rookie of the Year with the Colts. I wonder if he's going to come to Palmerfest next year?
42 - 20. The possibility of Carson Palmer pulling a Willis McGahee ending his career and every "Who Dey" Chant on campus. This would also lead to a Browns sweep and me chanting "The Browns!" every time I hear "Who Dey."
19. Finally getting to wear my Kamerion Wimbley jersey that I bought after the season.
18. Kalvin McRae possibly winning MAC Player of the Year and getting drafted.
17. The Michigan/Ohio State game not being scheduled at the same time I have a final exam.
16. Theo Scott and the possibility of him being Joshua Cribbs for the next three seasons.
15 - 14. ESPN’s College Gameday with Herbstreit and Corso. I love when Corso puts on the mascots' head when picking a team. Maybe he'll do the Buckeyes versus the Bobcats in '08 and put on the old school Bobcat head on?
13. All of the Michigan fans who won't wear their piss and blue gear on campus because they know they'll get harassed.
12. The BCS debate and the possible installment of a playoff system in 2011. Rumor has it that they're thinking of just adding another BCS game to determine the National Champion after the one plays the four and the two plays the three.
11. Mel Kiper's hair.
10. Brutus the Buckeye.
9. Rufus the Bobcat and the possibility of the original Bobcat making a return. What mascot better represented its school then the Bobcat with the beer belly and glazed over eyes?
8. Chris Wells or as I like to call him, The Big Guy.
7. Going to Cleveland Browns Stadium for at least one game.
6. The possibility of Charlie Frye turning into Bernie Kosar.
5. The Super Bowl. I never care about the teams in it, but I always watch. It's not as big an event for me as...
4. The National Championship game. I don't care if the teams shouldn't be in there or not, I just think it's all about the NCAA baby!
3. The Mayne Event. Kenny Mayne is just funny. I make sure to wake up by 11:30 every Sunday morning just to watch this segment on NFL Countdown. I highly recommend it.
2. Ohio State versus Michigan game day because if the Wolverines lose to the Buckeyes, the Weis Guy will hear about it for years to come.
and the no. 1 thing I am looking forward to...
David Beckham! Now that's real futbol there.
Just screwing with you.