The Weis Guy
Fantasy and reality, it was a bad weekend
By Michael Weisman, Senior Sports Writer
September 18, 2007 | 4:39 p.m.
Sunday was bad. Worse than usual. Beside the typical weekend hangover, the daunting realization that I can no longer put off hours of homework, and the plethora of meetings, the worst possible sporting result occurred—the Cincinnati Bengals managed to lose to their in-state rival, the Cleveland Browns.
Not only was this depressing because I am a Bengals’ fan and never like to see them lose, but to fall to the lowly Browns for the first time in three years?
The previous week, Cleveland looked like the laughing stock of the league and traded their starting quarterback for the season a few days after yanking him before halftime (that has to be an NFL first).
To make matters worse, I had to listen to all those annually optimistic Brownies rubbing it in that they beat the Bengals.
As if I hadn’t taken enough grief for the Saturday disasters that were Appalachian State and Oregon in previous weeks.
The Bengals really had me believing after looking impressive on Monday night against the Baltimore Ravens. But Sunday, the black and orange defense looked as lost as Notre Dame’s offense.
Unfortunately, Brian Billick wasn’t calling the plays for the Browns and they didn’t fail on eight tries inside the 12-yard-line to score. Instead, they scored on nine of 12 possessions and did it however they pleased, racking up more points than Lindsay Lohan has on her driver’s license.
Cleveland laid 51 on the defenseless Bengals, while Cincy didn’t disappoint posting 45 points, the second-highest total of any team Sunday. So what does all this scoring mean?
Well, besides giving Romeo Crennel a reason to lose his stoic look, talk into his headset (I guess it wasn’t just classical music he was listening to against Pittsburgh), and do something with his hands other than keep them folded while gently rubbing his thumb up and down his chest; it means fantasy points!
However, I said Sunday was bad. Normally I’d be thrilled when T.J. “Houshmazilly” Houshmandzadeh has eight catches for 69 yards and two scores and Carson goes 33-50 for 401 yards and six touchdowns (Really? And they still lost?), except when I’m facing them that week in one of my two fantasy leagues.
And my opponent in my other league, he just happened to start Jamal Lewis, Braylon Edwards, and Kellen Winslow. What are the odds that the day both offenses, especially the Browns’, explode, I’m playing against all the players involved?
Those three only combined for four trips to the endzone, 216 rushing yards, and 246 receiving yards.
Palmer earned almost a half-century of points (47), while Houshmandzadeh racked up 26 points in ESPN’s fantasy league.
I suppose I can’t really complain since I like to see the Bengals succeed, but there’s the rub of fantasy. The trio of Browns I faced earned almost as many points (91 on ESPN’s league) as the two teams combined for in the actual game (96).
Sure, I had Rudi Johnson on both my teams, and his touchdown and 151 total yards helped offset the cyber slaughters I endured, but trying to be slick and starting whatever defense played Cleveland backfired.
The Bengals defense, just like the real game Sunday, gave away points in fantasyland too, at least this was only -12 points and not the 51 they actually gave up.
I have learned one thing from talking to Browns fans, and that’s to always think you’re going to be good and have a chance. So I’m ready to move on and start with next weekend. Bring on the Nittany Lions, the Seahawks, “Carson to Chad,” and “Pipe Layers” (the two teams I face in fantasy). I’m ready for a Sunday I can enjoy.
Don’t forget Clevelanders, there’s still Dec. 23. So here’s hoping the Bengals remember how to play defense and hey, at least none of my opponents are starting Derek Anderson…yet.